I found a really nice guy on Bumble and we got chatting away, spoke over Christmas and had an amazing first date. We had brunch and went to book stores and then grabbed lunch and went for a walk. It was romantic. I didn’t want to read too much into it because he was spending New Years in Japan (for a holiday) so I figured he might just be looking to date. Anyway, he messaged me the entire time he was out there. Sending me pictures and voice messages via WhatsApp. On New Years Eve, he even messaged me saying he wished I was there and wanted me to be his New Years kiss. We agreed to meet when he got back and said we’d wait to have our kiss then. He invited me over to his the day after he got back, he cooked for me after work and we spent a nice relaxed evening on the sofa. He told me that he’d found what he was looking for and said we were in a relationship (although he didn’t ask me at this point what I thought). After a great evening, I’m lying in his arms falling asleep and he says he’s glad he found me and that I’m his. I joke and said it helps if you ask me though and then he did. So I agreed to e his girlfriend. We fall asleep and spend a great day after with him, watching TV and talking. We put it up on Facebook and he even sends me home in one of his jumpers so I wasn’t cold. We have two more amazing dates after, he shows me to his friends and refers to me as his girlfriend. But something changed after that, I went to visit a friend and said I’d meet him the weekend after and he was fine. Asked me how it went, even told me I looked nice (17/10) when I sent him a pic of me with my friend. Then when I saw him after, we headed to grab coffee and he paid for my drink. He waited for me to sit down before saying it was over. He’d poured everything in but apparently in the last week we were together there was no spark and no feelings for him. It was so out the blue and there were no warnings signs that anything was wrong? Just the start of a great relationship, my sister had offered him to join in some family do (to be polite) and he didn’t seem weirded out by it. I tried to ask him what had happened but he said he didn’t want to dissect our relationship and wanted to leave when I started crying to not make it more awkward.
I’m in a better place now as this happened a while ago but to this day, this is the most bizarre thing that’s every happened to me. It’s made me wonder if I did something wrong?
So sorry to hear that. I was literally just talking on another thread about a similar thing happening to me;
“We were dating, all going really really well. He even turned up to my office with presents for me! One day we’d arranged to meet on a Sunday at Liverpool Street station to go to Brick Lane… he DIDN’T show! Or answer my calls, or texts!
After a couple of weeks of silence and it consuming every single thought I had throughout the day I thought i’d try one last time. His “boss” answered the phone and said he was busy. I could sense it was all BS and it weirdly gave me some closure. I text him after calling him a dick and see ya. He then tried blaming me. Long story short- I found out it’s because he got back with his ex!!”
Was there an ex still in your guys background? So frustrating isn’t it! X
No, no ex in the picture. He had been single for about 5 years before I came along, the most he’d had is a few FWB type deals but they again had ended long before I was in the picture! I did wonder if he may have cheated whilst I was with my friend and ended out of guilt or because he had found someone else. Just because of how out of the blue it was, but I don’t know if I’m being paranoid? He did kiss someone whilst in Japan but told me straight away and said he felt awful because it was a drunk kiss. Didn’t think it mattered much seen as we weren’t an item then but maybe it was a warning after all?!
Things like this are just the worst! It’s just so disappointing and when you’re left with no real answers it consumes you forever!
It could be a number of reasons but if I were you I would just accept what he told you, that’s the only thing you can do. I guess it’s true that sometimes the spark is there and then it’s not. It sucks when it happens though.
Don’t beat yourself up about it (or at least try not to), by the sounds of it, you did absolutely nothing wrong at all. Just keep plodding on and going on dates! It’s hard when you like someone though I know, but you have to focus on you.
One day, an awesome guy will come along and you’ll look back at this and wonder what you fussed about.
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