Right man, Wrong time

[ali96Participant]

Imagine, laying in bed with someone you thought could be the one, for him to be texting someone else the whole time. He wasn’t ready to settle down he wanted to play some more. We’ve given it three years, I’m pretty sure we were meant to be only time will tell

[daisyheakinParticipant]

I met someone amazing, was really getting on well and then he turns round and ends things. The worst part was he blamed his mums cancer for it

[Em82Participant]

@ali96 You won’t want to hear this but I think you should move on. I found myself in a similar situation. He loved me but wasn’t ready- as soon as he was we’d be together he said. I went travelling for a bit to clear my head and guess what he did while I was away? Got himself a girlfriend. Someone he’d known for years. Finding that out was horrendous! It took me a long time but i’ve Realised that if he really loved me, he wouldn’t risk losing me to someone else. Hope that helps.

Em x

[elnParticipant]

@em82 sounds like you’ve been in a similar boat to me. My ex (if you can call him that as he spent a year refusing to confirm we were in a relationship) ended things saying he just couldn’t do a relationship right now, needed to focus on studying. I knew it was the end really, so completely understood. Not to say I wasn’t devastated but it wasn’t good for either of us. And I perhaps naively thought that he was still “the one” having spent so long trying to make things work. This was actually our second go at things him having gone off radar the year before then coming back and saying he couldn’t give up on me. ANYWAY, cut to six months post break up? I’m here mulling over whether I should tell him I still miss him. We had been keeping in touch, I thought better friends than nothing, and as relationships are a no go I’m not worried about there being a nasty surprise. How wrong. Check twitter on Valentine’s Day to see him a new girl, an old friend of his, with (a quite frankly vulgar) card and a surprise date. So much for relationships being a no go zone.

I’m now trying to work out how to heal. I was doing well thinking I knew the exact terms of our break up. Now I think I’ve just been lied to for months. There is the possibility their friendship levelled up during the last few weeks of our relationship. Part of me still thinks we’re meant to be and this is just him having a weird moment (he has some mental health issues he won’t address) and that in the long (very long) run if we’re meant to be we will. The other part wants to know the exact facts (I kinda only know all of this from stalking 🤦‍♀️) so I know whether to rid him from my life as a friend and potential partner completely or if there is still something of a friendship that could be salvaged.

Sorry that turned into more of a rant than I’d intended

[Em82Participant]

@eln This sounds so similar! It’s been nearly 10 years since I spoke to my ex. I also reminisce about the past and run away with my thoughts that we could one day reunite and give it a go. BUT I know this will never happen. It’s not the movies.

I would suggest deleting him from your socials at least. The gut wrenching pain of seeing what they are up to is not worth it!

Also, is he really a friend or are you keeping him there hoping it will turn into something more?

Em x

[elnParticipant]

@em82 in terms of friendship I think it’s really a mix. It seems such a shame to lose a friendship, we still get on, and have hung out occasionally since and it’s been nice. Obviously there’s still that little what if voice in my head.

Having said that this was all prior to finding out about the very likely new girlfriend. Which would mean I’ve been lied to as a friend which is a complete no go for me.

[Author]

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