Picky swipers

Once upon a time, it was a simpler dating life. Unless you were being set up, you would have met your man in person ahead of your date. Whether you were chatted up in a bar or met someone on the tube, before online dating, you would have used your initial instinct to say yes to seeing him again.

When you meet a person face-to-face, it takes 7 seconds to make an impression. In that time, you will have made an impulsive decision on whether you like that person or not. With dating apps however, you can take as long as you like to scrutinise their profile. Let’s be honest, if you don’t like the cover, you are not reading the book.

Obvious left swipers

He’s at the gym in every pic – this usually means he is a complete gym buff. Great that he will be looking mighty fine with his clothes off but we don’t need a narcissist. Also, if he’s taking selfies in the mirror at the gym with his muscles out, then is this a sign that he will probably love himself more than he would ever love anyone else?

You can’t really see what he looks like – out of focus, blurry photos, hiding behind face/head accessories, on the top of a mountain in the distance with ski goggles on. There could be a face you want to see more of in there somewhere, but you won’t know because he hasn’t uploaded any decent images.

Group shots – he could be one of the hot ones or he could be the one you find the least attractive. It’s a gamble. We ain’t got time for that. Lovely that he has friends, but come on, who are we supposed to be looking at!

Leaning on his car – firstly, he asked someone to take that photo which is a bit cringe and secondly, he is a petrol-head. When will he have time to see you if he’s always fiddling with his…car?

Taking a selfie in the mirror with a “sultry” look on his face like he’s auditioning for a part in Zoolander – no explanation needed.

Photos with lots of women – who is she? His ex, his girlfriend, his wife? You never know these days and it’s way to early in the game for us to have to work out this sh*t.

Drinking a magnum bottle of champagne in a club – screams arrogant party boy. Not what we are looking for thank you.

Next level swiping…

Looks short <swipe left

Don’t like his clothes <swipe left

Crooked teeth <swipe left

Not muscly enough/too muscly <swipe left

Don’t like his haircut <swipe left

Eyes look too far apart <swipe left

Feet too small <swipe left

Small hands <swipe left

Is online dating making us fussier than ever?

What ridiculous reasons have you found to swipe to the next?




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *